What I’m Doing To My Hair!

Recently, one of you requested that I talk about all the products I am currently using on my hair and I was more than happy to oblige! Have a look at this!

This is not a product placement/paid endorsement. All products have been purchased by me and my opinions are my own:).

Here is a list of the products and where you can find out more about them:


American Cream: https://www.lush.co.uk/products/american-cream

OGX Coconut Milk Conditioner: http://www.boots.com/en/OGX-Nourishing-Coconut-Milk-Conditioner-384-5ml_854414/

Trichomania Shampoo: https://www.lush.co.uk/products/trichomania-0

Big Shampoo: https://www.lush.co.uk/products/big

New Shampoo Bar: https://www.lush.co.uk/products/new

No Drought: https://www.lush.co.uk/products/no-drought

Roots: https://www.lush.co.uk/products/roots

If you have any questions or recommendations, please leave a comment on this post or on the video and I shall try and help/respond where I can!

Thank you,


Wickedly Wicked!

I was invited to see the Wonderfully Wizomanic Wicked at the Apollo Victoria Theatre in London! Here I am, awaiting the performance with excitement, whilst clutching my beautiful brochure!


If you’re new to Wicked and are curious as to what it’s all about, here is a little more about the show!

Wicked tells the untold story of the Witches of Oz, Elphaba (The Wicked Witch Of The West), and Glinda The Good – and is based upon the novel “Wicked: The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West” by Gregory Maguire.

It portrays the story of the two very different women who first meet at University and over the course of their lives, become entangled together in love, heartache and friendship! It has been described as a prequel to the story “The Wizard Of Oz“, but as you encounter, it’s timelines pass from before Dorothy’s entrance to Oz and after her departure!

Other awesome facts to mention, since the London production opened in 2006, it has been seen by 7 million people, playing over 3800 performances AND across the world, it’s been seen by 50 million people in 13 countries! That is rather mind-blowing!

The performance I attended was the first of the new cast for 2015-2016, starring Savannah Stevenson as Glinda and Emma Hatton as Elphaba! (See below!)

http://www.officiallondontheatre.co.uk/ (Photo Matt Crockett)

The show was incredible, a terrific technicolor extravaganza from star to finish! There were tears and laughter throughout!

My favourite performance was from Savannah Stevenson as Glinda (the “Ga” is silent). At times she was hilarious and at other times, moved us to tears. A truly beautiful performance that captivated my attention whenever she was on stage!

As for Emma Hatton, it was great to see a shorter Elphaba in the show, little people can be powerful too! Her smile was electric and I can still picture her as she made her entrance on the stage – face beaming away! Her rifts were perfect! I noticed that she became more confident in her character as the show progressed (whether or not this was to aid the character’s story arc, I am unsure, terrific nevertheless).

Just before the interval, we hear Elphaba sing the (in my opinion) biggest number of the show, “Defying Gravity”! Despite some technical difficulties, preventing Elphie from being able to fly during the song as planned – the cast continued to stun!

My favourite part of the show this time round, was Dancing Through Life (when I first saw the show many years ago, I didn’t appreciate the depth to the song itself) – it was funny whilst simultaneously thought provoking! Fiyero, portrayed by Oliver Savile, was charismatic, humorous and I must say – very energetic indeed!

After the show, there was a special party for family, friends and special guests – to which I was also invited to attend! That in itself was a great event to be a part of. It’s not often you get to socialise and talk to the actors one on one! It was quite enlightening to meet cast and crew alike behind the scenes!


Here is the majority of the new cast after the show!


I feel very privileged to attend this first performance and take part! I do hope that whoever reads this gets a chance to go too! It’s been seven years since I last saw Wicked and as a huge fan of the show itself and it’s soundtrack, to go again was an absolute delight! Thank you!

You can find out more about the show by clicking through to the UK Website below:


To end this post, I shall leave you with one of my favourite quotes from the show:

“Are people born wicked or do they have wickedness thrust upon them…?”

Beckie Meets Who?

Last week, I was invited to the BBC TV Studios in London, to take part in Doctor Who: The Fan Show, hosted by Christel Dee and Luke Spilane with fellow guest Jake Dudman.

This is Christel Dee, Luke Spilane, Jake Dudman and I!

Doctor Who Fan Show Team

If you didn’t know about Doctor Who: The Fan Show, it’s a fantastic YouTube based show that delves into the wonderful world of (Doctor) Who! For the duration of the current series of Doctor Who, each week the show’s hosts and special guests discuss about the Doctor’s latest exciting yet terrifying adventures!😀.

The episode I was called upon to discuss was the concluding episode of a two parter story written by Toby Whithouse.

To give you a little insight into the premise, these are the trailers for the two episodes!

Under The Lake:

Before The Flood:

I must say that the first part of this chilling story, was blooming fantastic! Bravo Doctor Who! I found myself so nervous at certain points in the episode, I wanted to skip them! (I guess that’s the modern day version of hiding behind the sofa!) I loved it! I was thoroughly excited to discover how Whithouse would conclude this refreshing tale!

Here is our discussion about the concluding episode, go grab a cup of tea and enjoy!

I had a blast doing this! It’s was such a balanced and in depth discussion! I hope that came through to you too!

And if the show wasn’t enough for you, here is a bonus video of me answering some questions for the team at Doctor Who!

Other fantastic additions to my little trip, were the life size Dalek in the cafe dubbed the “Dalekatessan”.

IMG_4747 IMG_4743 IMG_4736

And these two montsters!


A photo posted by Beckie Jane Brown (@beckiejbrown) on

If you want to see more of the Doctor Who Fan Show, check out The Doctor Who YouTube Channel at 6pm each Tuesday!

You can also follow the rest of my fellow fan show runners here:

Christel | Luke | Jake

Thanks for having me BBC!


Hello One And All!

Hello everyone! It has been some time since my last post on here. I am sorry!

It’s incredible how fast time can fly… truly.

Unfortunately, a few life events have taken me away from the land of blogging, (new job has been one of them!) but now I’m in a position to pick this up once more and this time – I’m going to succeed!

Over the last year, I’ve been to many awesome events, had intense opinions and experiences, that I wish to mark down in this diary.

Until I’m up to date, this blog may be a little out of sync with my other social media! I’ll catch up in time!

Enough of the excuses, let’s begin blogging now!😀.

Thank you for reading!


22nd Birthday

Hello, first of all, apologies for not writing sooner! I have a few blogs in my drafts, but for one reason or another I’ve just held back on them. It will take me time to teach myself how to blog once more and keep it going… I’ll get there.

Today was my 22nd Birthday!

Most people are bright, happy and full of excitement on days such as this, but for me, birthdays can be hard to endure. I don’t want to go into too much depth, but for the last four years, they’ve been tied tightly with my depression. Christmas/winter is/was usually the worst period of my depression and my birthday continues to be a HUGE huge trigger. I know people won’t understand my reasons for sadness or darkness at this time of year, but it happens.

This will be the first Christmas in four years, where I’m not ill or in “darkness”, which I’m so proud of. Despite my lack of mental health troubles at present, today was still, surprisingly difficult. It started badly as I’ve not been well this week but as usual, I was overwhelmed with dread and sadness at another year passing and all the negatives in my life. It did take several hours to emerge from that bubble of sadness.

I spent today mostly home alone or with my Dad and then our family made it together in the evening. The day seemed to perk up at that point, especially as I’d been subjected to what felt like hundreds of birthday wishes online! (Thank you).

At one point, my Grandad was admitted to hospital due to an accident, he came home with stitches, that was an upsetting addition to the day! Something always happens in this house:).

Mum had put pink things around our lounge, to celebrate❤.






As we have so much trouble with my funny feet (I don’t walk properly/have odd feet) my brother bought several pairs of slippers for me to try. I chose the heart ones in the end!

❤ Birthday pressies from family x

A photo posted by Beckie Jane Brown (@beckiejbrown) on

The cake:


IMG_9926 IMG_9929 IMG_9930 IMG_9931I do not enjoy birthdays as much any more, but I tried my best to be upbeat despite the sadness. Thank you to everyone for their cat photos, hugs and messages, it meant a great deal to me to see❤. Finally thank you to all the birthday cards/parcels that were sent to me via my post box:).

I’m 22. Goodness me. Ahh!


A Happy Day


I’ve been okay for a few months, not depressed, but not particularly happy. Even though I’m on the mend, for me, happiness still isn’t a regular emotion. I rarely experience happiness, so when it comes my way, I explode! It’s almost as if it’s a birthday present, I look forward to it, crave the rare day it occurs and by golly when it comes, it’s beautiful. I find that there is a difference between being happy and being completely overwhelmed in good feelings!

Today was a good day and one of those rare days where I stopped in my tracks and realised that I was feeling “happiness”.

Good things that happened today:

-My day started with a commute into London, I bumped into a childhood class mate (whom I haven’t seen for a decade), we talked for an hour on the train. I giggled, was confident, stayed off the phone and just enjoyed having someone to talk to.

-I can’t elaborate, but I had a good business meeting!

-I opened an email with good news.

-I found a set of health pills (skin/hair/nails) I’ve been waiting a while to buy!

-A man kept smiling sweetly on the train to me.

-It was my last day at my Film School!

-I received lots of compliments from students about my hair, that haven’t seen me in 10 weeks.

-I went into Lush, talked with a clerk for an hour about products, my hair loss. I also purchased two things.*

-A person bestowed on me a kind gesture and bought/gave me a second tub of one of the products I had said “would go on my Christmas list”, in Lush. The way in which this gift was received was most touching! It made me cry on the tube when it happened! (This is even more special to me, because of what it was and how it connects to my Trichotillomania).*

-I talked with people I haven’t seen for months.

-Collected post that has been missing for at least half a year.

*There is more to these things, but I’ve summarised in this post.

Now these things may seem small to you, but to me, each of these things is important and has contributed to this feeling of wellbeing and happiness this evening. Although this won’t last for too long, it’s been a happy day/period and I’m so grateful it’s happened.


This post may seem a little odd to some, but if you know me well, you’ll appreciate how much it means to me x.

Getting Better?

Photo 1: 2012, one of the lowest points in my life.

Photo 2: 2014, about to finish my degree and start a new chapter of life!

Being open about my past depression still causes trouble for me, despite being well and feeling the best I’ve felt in years. People think me ill, or that I’m lying about how I feel when I say I’m good. People still treat me wrongly or with cruel attitudes, as mental health still faces severe stigma in society. Whenever I express stress or sadness, people immediately assume I’m suicidal or severely depressed and there’s an influx of patronising responses.

It upsets me, that I’m obviously a different person to my past and I’m making such progress with my hair and health… but people still treat me as they do and throw the “mentally ill” card at me.

Right now, I’m the best that I’ve been in several years! Please see that although my past content (such as videos, blog posts, tweets) are still online, I am not that person anymore. I’m who I am now.

Hope/The Mirror Of Erised

Halloween night, I decided to watch the first Harry Potter film. Whilst watching, a line of dialogue spoke straight to me:

Screen Shot 2014-11-01 at 02.33.04

-Dumbledore, towards Harry in regards to obsessively looking into the Mirror Of Erised (a mirror that shows the viewer their deepest most heartfelt desires!)


This made me think immediately about my own little dreams that won’t happen and how I have to face reality – including my wish for long hair.

It does not to do dwell and dreams and just live in hope. Living as such does not solve my problems long term (though they may do temporarily – like the mirror made Harry happy for a time). I must face reality and battle on, try my best with what I have… be realistic about what’s infront of me/what’s a part of me😀.

Harry had to face that his parents were not truly there (again) and ultimately, his desire to be with them once more in the way he wanted, would not come true… I’m having to come to terms with the reality of my condition, Trichotillomania.

This isn’t a sad post, I’m quite content… it’s just good to have something reaffirm my thoughts, in something I adore so much.

Thank you, Dumbledore.❤.

If you don’t know what Trichotillomania is, I have a YouTube channel you can visit:



My family do not celebrate Halloween, we’ve always tried to avoid is as best we can! It was not encouraged at Church too, we had light parties instead of Halloween ones:). In the UK, Halloween is not as joyful, safe and welcoming as other countries, such as the USA. We’ve had family members attacked, cats go missing, accidents and furthermore, my parents and I are not comfortable being surrounded by death as such!😦.

Last year, was the first time I started to delve into the world of Halloween and take part properly and this year, I tried to immerse myself more into what’s going on! I can’t avoid the whole world around me turning black and orange – I guess I have to embrace it:).

This year, I was sent a box by Google – to do with Halloween – I decided to go along and see what happened!

I’m more than proud of my little pumpkin!

My first ever carved pumpkin! Mum says it looks like a cat in the dark!❤ #halloween

A photo posted by Beckie Jane Brown (@beckiejbrown) on

I also attempted a recipe for toffee apples, that I have wanted to try since I was a little girl! I don’t actually like apples, but the toffee itself makes them taste gorgeous!


There has been some debate in the comment section as to whether these are toffee apples or caramel apples! In the UK, these are regarded as toffee ones, whereas the USA’ens call them candy apples!😀.

I did burn myself near the end, I burnt two knuckles, whoops! I must admit, I’m not the best cook out there and I’m surprised I didn’t hurt more of me making these! You would not believe how hot that toffee can get!

I also went to a Halloween party!❤.


#Halloween cakes?!

A photo posted by Beckie Jane Brown (@beckiejbrown) on

I wonder what cobweb biscuits taste like?! #Halloween

A photo posted by Beckie Jane Brown (@beckiejbrown) on

Little pumpkin! #halloween

A photo posted by Beckie Jane Brown (@beckiejbrown) on

Cute pumpkin! #Halloween

A photo posted by Beckie Jane Brown (@beckiejbrown) on

I was so tired, but I had a good time! Parties are not the best place for me, I get nervous and hide in corners, but I tried to enjoy myself😀

Oh my goodness, I’m so tired in these photos! I also forgot to put my mascara on that day!!!❤.

A few of my YouTube friends didn’t recognise me at the party! Sammi introduced himself to me as if we’d never met before! It was so good to have a different persona for an evening!